Self-determination — the skill of being able to design yourself to be the embodiment of a self-determined set of intentions
Redesigning myself to be the embodiment of an invented set of intentions is a matter of developing and acquiring #skills, rather than designing plans or strategies or making promises.
Having skills is more fundamental because skills are #embodied. Plans and strategies may or may not succeed, and may or may not get implemented. But skills are unavoidable; if you happen to have a skill, you can’t not have it.
How do I acquire or develop skills. By #experimentation — ideally: guided experimentation; coaching and practice.
So in response to the issue of finding myself being someone who I have accidentally become by nature and nurture and culture and happenstance — and therefore having an obligation after the fact of justifying being that person — if it is possible to develop skills such as (just for example) grace-under-pressure, or taking-care-of-people-whose-behaviour-I-consider-to-be-indefensible, or forgiving-and-appreciating-people-who-I-resent, or letting-myself-be-the-person-who-I-happen-to-find-myself-being, or et cetera, et cetera … then it is also possible to become the embodiment of an self-determined invention… without having to make any promises.
For a discussion of the relationship between skills and problem-solving see my article: a phenomenology of effective problem-solving .